professornana (professornana) wrote,

Will you still need me? Will you still feed me?

Some of you will recognize the lines from the Beatles' WHEN I'M 64. The rest of you can listen to it here:

Well, Sunday was my 64th birthday. I managed t spend time with BH and my baby sister and her BH. The menu was limited (bagels) and the ambience left a little to be desired. I spent the beginning of my 64th year from a hospital room. So, there we all were, gowned and gloved and masked. Let me explain.

Several of you have commented that I have been missing from social media recently. The reason is that earlier in thee summer I was diagnosed with cancer. I am finally in treatment: many rounds of chemo and radiation are ahead. And the little bump in the journey so far was caused by an infection that sent me from outpatient to inpatient care. I am on the mend and hope to be mostly outpatient shortly. But regardless of where the treatment takes place, I will be not quite as online as I would like. The little energy I have is for maintaining my classes, grading assignments, working on projects with colleagues, etc. After that, the energy goes to getting better.

What I hate most about this?

1. Loss of control. Anyone who knows me understands that I am a control freak. Now, I have to let others dictate certain processes. Not that I do not question. I do. Just ask my doctors and nurses and health care workers. I ask lots of questions. I write things down. I explore.

2. Missing my colleagues. And in a way, this might be even tougher. I have not had the chance to make a video with Karin Perry for #pppd for weeks. We are going to try to remedy that, but for now, enjoy the guest stars.

3. Missing my conferences. This will be only the 2nd time I will miss NCTE, and I am so sad. I love having out and talking to friends and colleagues and meeting new folks. But travel for me will be restricted to going to and from different treatment centers.

I will post updates from time to time here and on Facebook as I have energy. For now, we are all positive that this can be cured, that I will get better, that 2017 will be a better year. I appreciate any good vibes, prayers, virtual hugs, etc. you care to send my way. I he you will pardon this less-than-personal message. I love my online community and wanted to let you all know why I might be MIA from time to time.
Tags: cancer sucks
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